spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
