i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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