those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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