so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
