Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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