I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
