you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
