My nipple is on Facebook.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
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