For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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