but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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