john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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