Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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