i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
