we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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