no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
The power of my boobs compel you
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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