Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
