It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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