Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
