you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
