He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
