And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
We need to get me chipped asap
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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