I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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