Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
