stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
