while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
