I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
