We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
