Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
