omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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