I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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