Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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