who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
