started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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