Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I have aggressive nipples.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
