fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
