And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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