I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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