Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
