he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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