I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
