Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
