Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
