I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
