Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
