Is it normal to miss your booty call?
now i know why i became what i already was.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
