for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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