Nicole vs. Life
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
