What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
