hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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