I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
