I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
